The Beginning: Part II

So, like I said, TWENTY YEARS PASSED. It was October 2005. I had recently taken possession of a college degree that I was making very little use of, and Mr. L was the singer/guitarist in a band (by night) and a systems engineer (by day). He still wasn't on my radar at that point. In fact, I was kind of dating the bassist in his band at that point. Well, we weren't exactly "dating" (unless "dating" involves watching a lot of movies and never making out, not even once!) but that's how Mr. L describes it when he's recounting this story to our friends. Anyway, I had met said bassist through a friend of a friend while I was away at school, and we both moved back to our hometown so I saw him quite a bit.

On this particular October night, Bassist decided to throw a party at his house for his friend Wes, who was driving out to LA to be on the first season of "Beauty & the Geek." If you recall, he was the hot geek who ended up landing one of the beauties. I was, obviously, invited and the theme was, obviously, "Beauty & the Geek." Apparently it was "obvious" that the girls would dress to the nines and arrive at the party as "beauties," while the guys would be the geekiest "geeks," but I didn't get that memo because I showed up in my very favorite Spiderman shirt.

Mr. Lemonade was there. And he liked my shirt.


The shirt in action in Japan in 2006... that land will factor in later... just watch & see!

I wish I could say I remember all the details of that night, but in truth there was quite a bit of champagne involved on my part, and I ended up peacefully snoozing among my friends in the living room. I know this because it's on videotape. Yes, I have our "re-meet" captured on film. And it ain't so pretty.

I watched the video, headachy, the next day, and I saw myself... zonked on the couch... while Mr. L shared some ridiculously long and pointless boozy story. He was either at his finest or at his worst that night-- still haven't decided. Needless to say, I noticed him and thought he was VERY cute, but his attempts to impress me (aforementioned boozy story) didn't quite resonate at that point.

Not how you'd think a love story would begin, eh?

Part III soon to follow!

Start at the Start! The Beginning: Part I

Before I dig into the details of my wedding plans, I thought you might like me to share how me and my Mr. came to be "we."

It all began 25 years ago. I'm serious.

Mr. Lemonade, a lad of 3 (and a HALF!) years, sat on a church pew with his family on a seemingly normal Sunday morning. Little did he know! That self-same Sunday morning, a frazzled new mother sat in the pew directly in front of the Lemonade family and cradled arguably the most adorable, precious, darling newborn baby girl (that'd be me). Mother L. leaned forward, holding FBIL Lemonade who was zero and a half, and told my Mom what a pretty baby I was. I suppose Mr. L. and I were betrothed at that point.

Fast forward to when I myself was 3 (and a HALF!). I often ran around after church playing tag with Brother Lemonade and the other kids from my Bible class. Or so I'm told. I have this picture to prove it:


FBIL Lemonade and Me (Mr. L says I still make this face a lot)

I distinctly remember playing tag. I don't remember FBIL Lemonade, and I DEFINITELY don't remember Mr. Lemonade.... C'mon, I was A BABY. Before the year was up, they had moved to the other side of town and began attending church elsewhere.

TWENTY YEARS PASS

Wow, that sounds rather epic. I'll pick up in Part II!

Name That Bride!

To hyphenate or not to hyphenate? That is... an easy question for me to answer! I will NOT be hyphenating my last name come August of 2009 when I tie the knot with my Mr.

Does that solve all my name-related problems? Hardly.

During my romantic, wistful younger years, I longed for the day when I could become Mrs. Him (whoever he was). A united soul, a congress of hearts, together under one family name. His.

Now, I fully understand several reasons why many women keep their maiden name when they marry. Some have built their entire careers with their maiden name. Published papers, received degrees, etc. They feel as if they will have to "start from scratch" with name recognition if they change to his name. Some women also refuse to claim any dependence on their men-- choosing instead to maintain their full identity from singlehood, as evidenced from keeping their name.

Yet another reason I've heard is, "My current last name is much shorter and easier to pronouce and spell than his last name is!" Iffy, but still fairly rational.

If I were to keep my maiden name, it would be for zero reasons listed above. I will be graduating with a Masters next Spring, but I'm sure I could maintain recognition with my network contacts under a new name. I still like the idea of joining with my man in name as in life, so I have no qualms about changing my last name for "independence" reasons. And his last name is just as easy to say and spell as mine.

No, if I were to keep my name it would be for: history. My family name is recognizable all over my hometown. Large streets are named after us. Certain cemetaries are entirely populated (?) by my near and distant family and ancestors. We have a history here. I have an intimate and sentimental connection with my family name that I am very proud of. We're not exactly American royalty, but in my heart it means a lot to me to carry my name!

More than that, my family name dies... with me. Or I suppose with my father. I am the only child of the only son in my branch of the family tree. We can take our name back, generation to generation, father to son, for hundreds of years. But now, as soon as I change that name, it will vanish!

That's a lot of pressure!

I want to become his family. I am 99.9% sure I will take his name. But I am 100% sure that I will miss the name I have now!

What are your opinions on women changing their names? If you aren't planning to change your last name, whose name will your future children have? I'd love to have some feedback on this subject!

It's Funny Because It's True

I am somewhat ashamed that my first post as a blushing, pure-hearted bride is going to be about sex jokes and barflies. But things are what they are.

Several years ago, while watching "Scrubs," I laughed particularly hard during the scene where Carla realized the amazing power of her engagement ring.... to turn men off. Just for some context, watch this:



Funny, right? Oh back then, sitting in my recliner munching popcorn and wearing my own stylin scrubs to get in the mood, I basically fell out of my chair laughing, but now I let out a more subdued chuckle as I reluctantly acknowledge: It's true. Before I go on, I'll clarify: I LOVE being the fiancee, the betrothed, the beloved of my amazing man. He's the only man I want for the rest of my life. But, I may be admitting conceit in saying this, I have always enjoyed the attention I get from guys. Even guys I would NEVER consider dating. Is that horrible? I'm no show-stopper, but I am very tall (5'11") and much more confident than I used to be in my teenage wallflower days, so I tend to stand out (or stick out like a sore thumb, whichever perspective you prefer).

On any given night out at any of the skeezy dive bars in my old college town, it would always happen the same way: Some drunken Todd (for it seems all of those guys shared that name) would look at me and realize that I was at his eye level or above. His eyes would go directly from my face to my feet to see whether I was in heels or flats (no need to stop at anything in between--nothin' to see there!!). After literally sizing me up, he would generally stumble over and attempt to flirt. Last weekend, I went to a similarly skeezy bar and the eyes of any man who happened to look my way went straight from my face to the third finger of my left hand. They saw a shiny ring and wandered off to bother some other unsuspecting woman.

Why, you may ask, am I complaining about NOT receiving this type of (honestly, demeaning) attention anymore? It's just like the Carla situation in the video above!! Carla would never go for Todd, she still wanted to feel like she was attractive to the opposite sex, and as annoying as those encounters may be, they gave her a little thrill of "Yeah, I've still got it!" I'm more or less the same way. At the same time, it's not like I'm starving for compliments in my relationship now-- my fiance showers me with them on a daily basis. Women.

So what do you think? Am I just trying to feed my ego, or is there a mindset change required to adapt to being completely"spoken for?"